I’m With an Older Man And It’s Not Like What People Think

“The age gap didn’t cause challenges. It helped us overcome them.”

Anderson Liu and Tricia Lao from the Philippines are engaged to be married this year. Having met at a Bible study two years ago, they got to know each other better at a group hangout with their friends from Church.

Though they are happily in love, some believe they have a difficult challenge to overcome in their relationship - a 9-year age gap. Tricia is 26, and her boyfriend is 35. Those who are unfamiliar with relationships with wide age gaps might assume that there must be a big difference in maturity. The couple, however, disagrees. They say that the age gap actually helps their relationship grow by introducing them to new worlds, ideas and experiences.

Anderson is happy that Tricia enjoys her youth. After all, it adds color to his “monotonous routines”. On the other hand, he feels respected when she learns from him.

Even at work, they make a great team. Anderson mentors Tricia, who is an eager learner. Not only do they help each other learn and grow, they are also on their way to building a real estate empire together.

Working together helps them fight another stigma that comes with age-gap relationships, particularly that younger partners are after their older partner’s money. The couple debunks this myth as well. “We are both very much capable of providing, so it’s a team effort.”

“Actually, the age gap didn’t bring challenges. Rather, it helped overcome them,” they added. “Our different perspectives in life brought a perfect balance to our dynamic. We easily resolve conflicts because we respect each other.”

But of course, they too have their concerns that naturally come with their age difference. The couple admits to having reservations about raising their future kids. “When we eventually have kids, Anderson may not be able to have the same energy as Tricia when it comes to playing with them,” they said.

They also admit to another challenge: Anderson doesn’t understand millennial pop culture references.

So how do they deal with it? “When Anderson doesn’t know what Tricia is talking about…we just laugh it off and make a joke out of it,” they said.

As the couple prepares for their wedding, they’re reassured by what matters – that they have the same values, dreams, and ambitions. They also hope to be a positive influence on those around them.

For other couples in age-gap relationships, they leave a piece of valuable advice: “Appreciate the wisdom that your older partner can impart to you,” they said. “And embrace the energy of the younger partner.”

Source: Romano Santos, Vice author